But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
