i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
