i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
