he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize