Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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