youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
