threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
