good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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