Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
