He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
NoShamevember. You game?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
