The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
