Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
