I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
