I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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