Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's blow job season.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Who died my cat blue again?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
