you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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