it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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