Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
