dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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