I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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