Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
