I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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