4 words: hood of his car
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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