Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
