i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
They have beer where we have blood.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
