Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
