He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
