Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
