i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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