Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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