69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
