end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
