Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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