): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
