I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The beer is more important than you right now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
