using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
