Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
