Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
