Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
