I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
