Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
