I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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