Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
