I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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