you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
