Someone shit on the floor
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
