I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
