That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
