Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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