She announced her abortion via fbk
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
