Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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