dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
