Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
