Already got asked if we're dating
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
