yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
