Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im six kinds of drunk right now
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
