Betty ford says i'm here all night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
