Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
