I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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