Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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