it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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