you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This baby is an asshole
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
