Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
