My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
